WORKING WITH KIDS WITH EARLY TRAUMA

We use talk therapy with older children and teens. We’ll talk about what’s going on and figure out where the roots of the issue are. Sometimes things are situational, like bullying, or parents separating. And sometimes, things are more pervasive like a history of abuse or neglect, which changes the way they view themselves or others. If your child or teen is in a really difficult season of life, then we’ll start with talk therapy. We’ll look at patterns with thoughts, emotions, or behaviors. We might use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and look at the way he or she thinks and speaks to himself or herself. We’ll utilize self-compassion. We’ll talk about attachment style and how it has affect their life and relationships. And we’ll name the emotions they have coming up. You have to name it to tame it, even if it’s not the nicest emotion. The ugly emotions have their place too and we’ll wade through that together. Sometimes we’ll be skills based, sometimes we’ll use psychoeducation, and sometimes we’ll simply sit with them in whatever it is that’s troubling them. We’re not here to fix things. We’re here to sit with them, work with them, and hopefully guide them to empowerment.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It’s a mouthful, but it’s a brain-based therapy that helps break the emotional connection we have to beliefs or memories. Sometimes events happen that our brains don’t know what to do with because it’s unlike anything we’ve ever experienced before: abuse, car accidents, school shooters, etc. If our brain is like a filing room, when something like this happens, there’s no folder for it, so our brain can kind of shove it in a corner. We call that a “dysfunctionally stored memory”. That’s why it can continue to be so triggering. EMDR helps our brain process that memory and store it safely. Your child will always have the memory, but it won’t always be upsetting.

After getting a better understanding of your child and circumstances they are in, if we find there is a pervasive or chronic condition, such as depression, anxiety, OCD, meltdowns, sensory issues, impulsivity, ADHD, or if they have early childhood trauma and they have an extreme stress response, then we’ll look at using neurofeedback to help regulate your child’s brain. Their struggle might not be a “them” issue. It might be a brain issue.

Sometimes challenges are situational—maybe it’s bullying, a divorce, family dynamics, or academic frustrations. Most of the time parents can identify those issues. But sometimes it’s not a situational problem at all. The lack of concentration or the fits are at home, school, mom’s house, dad’s house, everywhere. When parents have that gut level feeling that despite the child’s intelligence, or despite how kind their child is, or despite their child’s ability to be mature when calm, when he or she flips that switch, it’s like all of that goes out the window. That’s often times a brain-based issue.